Somedays, she just wants to die.

This is the way she feels most days.  She gets out of bed. She brushes her teeth. She pulls her bag up over her shoulder and walks out the door, catches the bus, and remembers that she forgot to say goodbye to mom before letting the door slam behind her. Oops. She get’s to all her classes on time, no one would notice either way. She spins the dial on her locker as she walks away. Catches the bus back home. Walks through the door. Walks up to her room. Throws her bag over the shoulder of her desk chair. Flips on the band that understands her the most and signs into facebook. 1 notification. Yippee. Carrie Weste 8:15am: “Hi bear. I miss you. I hope you are having a great day at school today. I love you.”. Ugh. Mom. ugh.

 Three hours later...

She signs off of facebook. She stands up and see’s that it’s dark outside already. Her head is blank. She feels empty. Dinner time. Her plate is sitting on the table. Alone. Mom’s sitting on the couch watching her weekly show. Eat. Throw paper plate away. Wave ‘night’ to mom. Climb to the top of the stairs. Lay in bed. Stare at the ceiling. For a long time. Because that’s what she does.

Her thoughts: This sucks. My life sucks. Why am I here? No one cares that I am here. No one cares that I exist. No one loves me. Why. Am. I. Here?

:::Notification Alert:::
Facebook. Hannah Greene shared a link.

She logs into Facebook on her phone. “What is Tddm.org?” she asks out loud. She clicks the link and becomes curious. Signs up and someone messages her a greeting.

1 Hour later. Before falling asleep, she looks up at her ceiling and wonders if God loves her. She will be back to this Tddm.org tomorrow to see if they can answer her question.

What are you waiting for? You never know who you are reaching.
Who God is reaching. Share Tddm.org with someone.

Comments  

 

#3 deweydandelion5 2012-01-31 13:26

This is how I feel a lot, and this really reached me. Definitely going to share with my friends when I get the chance. I must get ready for school right now...but I will share! Must remember! :) Thank you for posting this. May God bless you!

 

 

#2 Tddm Shell 2012-01-28 01:56

God took over while I was typing and it just revealed itself. I am glad this reached you Michelle.

 

 

+1 #1 symbol5405 2012-01-27 20:31

Ohmy God......and yes I mean God not gosh......if I was allowed to use social networks, everyone I know would know about TDDM...........my life is so like this girl's.

 

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